Something which I most certainly have been thinking recently is the viewpoint of the second chance, the proverbial try again option. Naturally on most things in life then of course there would be no hesitiation to do so, but on those incidents whereby you have been hurt and that, what would then be the stance?
A lot of people I know would believe that you've had your shot, thats it chance gone, see you later. Others however, and I know from seeing them, give chance after chance at the potential of being happy. It seems different people have their own perspective on the entire issue.
I have a prime example with one of my exes. I was seeing her for about a couple of months and then it went belly up, not of my doing, it just did. However a couple of months later we started seeing each other again and the relationship lasted for about two years worth. Sure not all times were good as most relationships experience, but fundamentally in my eyes, it was worth the second shot even though it ultimately came to a close.
My belief here is that up to a cetain degree, second chances are definitely worth a look. A third chance and more is entirely dependant on the scenario but fundamentally most of the time definitely not worth the hassle. If things don't work twice over, then unless a lot of things change, it won't on another go. I am more than willing to give things a second shot in the arm, to see if things can work their way out because unless you try again you'll never know. Certain things happen, go wrong and it is sad when they do, but rather than immediately shut off any chance of a "try again" I'd like to think that the door is always open for another go, to see if they can work out. After that though, there is no further door to go through, two chances and the game is up.
Saturday, 29 October 2011
Sunday, 23 October 2011
I Know What I Want, Just Not Got A Clue As How To Get It
As the title suggests, I have several things which I want, need almost if you will in my life but have no bloody clue as to how to get it.
These are not material possessions particularly, more actual aspects of my life which I deem to need, improve on etc.
One is in terms of my working life. I'm not about to slate my job or anything daft like that because for all its faults as with any job, there are some really good parts to it. This includes the people I work with or indeed have worked with over the years. I have met some truly cool people and have retained long lasting friendships as a direct result, always a bonus.
Additionally, I have the opportunity to really help and make a difference. Don't get me wrong I'm not involved with the high end of policing or something along those lines but customer services. However in terms of this, I still feel that I can make a difference in the lives of those people that I speak to and try inheritantly to do so.
The main issue which I have is that I am an ambitious person and have aspirations to do more, to be more. I'm not sure currently what the best course of action is to achieve my goals though and this leads me to become occasionally quite frustrated. Like I say, I have no issue with what I do, I just want to do more.
Another aspect of my life which I really want to change is my very personal circumstances. I have been single now since the start of the year and whilst I am content enough, I really feel that this needs to change. Don't get me wrong, it doesn't mean I'm about to rush into anything blindly and go mental in the process.
The main problem I have here is the fact that I have zero confidence in my ability to just go out and chat away to the ladies. I know full well that I'm hardly the worst looking of people or anything like that, but confidence is always a key and in a situation like being out "on the pull" as it were, I flounder. I also have absolutely no ability of reading whether someone likes me whatsoever. I have been told over the years several times lines like " That girl over there seems to quite like you, why don't you go talk to her" etc, but never ever believed it as I just cannot see the signs of this myself.
Then of course we have the fact that I seem to be susceptible to people messing me about too. Over the past few months I have had this a couple of times whereby I, as well as others are led to believe that things are fine, everything is all rosy and happy days lie ahead, only for the rug to be pulled out from under me. Not very good at all and just causes me hurt where it isn't necessary, this in turn will probably cause future issues as I'll find it difficult to trust someone else later down the line.
I'm hopeful on both parts that I can work out just how I can get what I want soon and then make the progress I need to fulfil it. Fundamentally, I don't want much from life, just to be happy and both of these areas are critical to doing this, its just a matter of how to do it thats the key.
These are not material possessions particularly, more actual aspects of my life which I deem to need, improve on etc.
One is in terms of my working life. I'm not about to slate my job or anything daft like that because for all its faults as with any job, there are some really good parts to it. This includes the people I work with or indeed have worked with over the years. I have met some truly cool people and have retained long lasting friendships as a direct result, always a bonus.
Additionally, I have the opportunity to really help and make a difference. Don't get me wrong I'm not involved with the high end of policing or something along those lines but customer services. However in terms of this, I still feel that I can make a difference in the lives of those people that I speak to and try inheritantly to do so.
The main issue which I have is that I am an ambitious person and have aspirations to do more, to be more. I'm not sure currently what the best course of action is to achieve my goals though and this leads me to become occasionally quite frustrated. Like I say, I have no issue with what I do, I just want to do more.
Another aspect of my life which I really want to change is my very personal circumstances. I have been single now since the start of the year and whilst I am content enough, I really feel that this needs to change. Don't get me wrong, it doesn't mean I'm about to rush into anything blindly and go mental in the process.
The main problem I have here is the fact that I have zero confidence in my ability to just go out and chat away to the ladies. I know full well that I'm hardly the worst looking of people or anything like that, but confidence is always a key and in a situation like being out "on the pull" as it were, I flounder. I also have absolutely no ability of reading whether someone likes me whatsoever. I have been told over the years several times lines like " That girl over there seems to quite like you, why don't you go talk to her" etc, but never ever believed it as I just cannot see the signs of this myself.
Then of course we have the fact that I seem to be susceptible to people messing me about too. Over the past few months I have had this a couple of times whereby I, as well as others are led to believe that things are fine, everything is all rosy and happy days lie ahead, only for the rug to be pulled out from under me. Not very good at all and just causes me hurt where it isn't necessary, this in turn will probably cause future issues as I'll find it difficult to trust someone else later down the line.
I'm hopeful on both parts that I can work out just how I can get what I want soon and then make the progress I need to fulfil it. Fundamentally, I don't want much from life, just to be happy and both of these areas are critical to doing this, its just a matter of how to do it thats the key.
Wednesday, 19 October 2011
The Blame Game
Why do people blame others for their failings? Why do people decide that it is beneficial to try to pick holes in someone else as opposed to reflecting at their own misgivings? This is something, which I can never understand, never comprehend. An example of this has happened to me of late.
Recently, I met someone who although I had only met a couple of times, were showing signs that things were going very well, better than that even. I had been introduced to friends and family members and even stayed over the night. Things appeared to be going down the right path, finally my life appeared to be heading in the right direction and things were working their way out for me. Yippee some would say.
Out of the blue however, this was turned on its head. The person in question firstly went down the path of stating that they could only see us as being friends and that although things had been going well, they did not know what they wanted. Fair enough, a portion of blame was admitted. This however, quickly moved to labelling things about me that they didn't like, bizarre things such as my job which fundamentally makes no difference to anything and even more importantly , they were already aware of from the very start. In fact all of the things which were listed as to what they didn't like, they knew about from the beginning. So a question which would immediately crop up is, why the change? and more over, why allow things to develop in the manner it did if there were such issues involved?
Quite evidently, it was not the list of issues which were thrown in my face which were creating any problem, something else was. What this is I could speculate for days on end, but frankly is pointless and a waste of my time and energy. What should have happened and indeed what would have been the decent thing is to have been honest, but there you go.
One magnificent quote which I also got thrown was that they felt that I was developing feelings for them too quickly. Some might say from the outset that there may be a point here, but the key argument here though is that, are you exactly surprised? If you meet someone and within a short space of time invite them round your house to stay the night and introduce them to your nearest and dearest people and generally be taking good positive things about you to those said parties, then what would you expect to see happen? Would a normal person be expected to act blaise about it all or would it perhaps be considered relatively ok for them to think "oooh this seems to be going rather well, I'm really connecting with this person and I hope that this continues" as it was.
Thing is, yes I know I can be guilty of falling too quickly for someone, but surely in some respects that is a good thing? The last thing anyone wants is someone who couldn't give a flying crap regardless of the circumstances presented in front of them surely. I wear my heart on my sleeve, I state what I think and fundamentally I'm open and honest to those around me, especially those that I plan to develop a close relationship too. Is this such a bad thing? I highly doubt it.
Recently, I met someone who although I had only met a couple of times, were showing signs that things were going very well, better than that even. I had been introduced to friends and family members and even stayed over the night. Things appeared to be going down the right path, finally my life appeared to be heading in the right direction and things were working their way out for me. Yippee some would say.
Out of the blue however, this was turned on its head. The person in question firstly went down the path of stating that they could only see us as being friends and that although things had been going well, they did not know what they wanted. Fair enough, a portion of blame was admitted. This however, quickly moved to labelling things about me that they didn't like, bizarre things such as my job which fundamentally makes no difference to anything and even more importantly , they were already aware of from the very start. In fact all of the things which were listed as to what they didn't like, they knew about from the beginning. So a question which would immediately crop up is, why the change? and more over, why allow things to develop in the manner it did if there were such issues involved?
Quite evidently, it was not the list of issues which were thrown in my face which were creating any problem, something else was. What this is I could speculate for days on end, but frankly is pointless and a waste of my time and energy. What should have happened and indeed what would have been the decent thing is to have been honest, but there you go.
One magnificent quote which I also got thrown was that they felt that I was developing feelings for them too quickly. Some might say from the outset that there may be a point here, but the key argument here though is that, are you exactly surprised? If you meet someone and within a short space of time invite them round your house to stay the night and introduce them to your nearest and dearest people and generally be taking good positive things about you to those said parties, then what would you expect to see happen? Would a normal person be expected to act blaise about it all or would it perhaps be considered relatively ok for them to think "oooh this seems to be going rather well, I'm really connecting with this person and I hope that this continues" as it was.
Thing is, yes I know I can be guilty of falling too quickly for someone, but surely in some respects that is a good thing? The last thing anyone wants is someone who couldn't give a flying crap regardless of the circumstances presented in front of them surely. I wear my heart on my sleeve, I state what I think and fundamentally I'm open and honest to those around me, especially those that I plan to develop a close relationship too. Is this such a bad thing? I highly doubt it.
Monday, 17 October 2011
I'm NOT Sylar!!!
Over the past few years, since the start of a certain cool TV show - Heroes, I keep getting people state that I look Sylar aka Zachary Quinto. Normally it would be a good thing to be compared looks wise to a celebrity who attracts a lot of attention from the opposite sex, but when the character they play just so happens to be a serial killer who steals people's abilities, it's perhaps not such a great comparison!
However, it has led me to think in a geeky childish kind of way of what ability would I want to have if I could choose, there are of course plenty to choose from...
Pyrokinesis - Set fire to stuff, well you'd never be cold I suppose but thats about it.
Invisibility - Pretty obvious, but frankly it would get tiresome quickly
Super Strength - Pretty standard, not exactly a necessity
Super Speed - Again, basic standard stuff.
For me personally, Telepathy would come close. As long as its a controlled ability and not one which makes you go stir crazy as you hear everyones thoughts! But I think it would be great, it would mean that you'd able to see what people truly thought, no shroud, no hidden agendas, no ulterior motives would be inaccessible. In todays society, there are too many people who think and feel only for themselves, if you had this ability, it would mean that you'd see straight away how that is and avoid any kind of issues later down the line.
But the winner is Intuitive Aptitude, the ability to see exactly how things work and operate. Would be absolutely incredible in my eyes to be able to see the world for exactly how it functions, you'd be able to see how everything moves and flows, every action and reaction. It would be a truly amazing thing to have. Maybe I'm not so dis-similar to Sylar after all...
However, it has led me to think in a geeky childish kind of way of what ability would I want to have if I could choose, there are of course plenty to choose from...
Pyrokinesis - Set fire to stuff, well you'd never be cold I suppose but thats about it.
Invisibility - Pretty obvious, but frankly it would get tiresome quickly
Super Strength - Pretty standard, not exactly a necessity
Super Speed - Again, basic standard stuff.
For me personally, Telepathy would come close. As long as its a controlled ability and not one which makes you go stir crazy as you hear everyones thoughts! But I think it would be great, it would mean that you'd able to see what people truly thought, no shroud, no hidden agendas, no ulterior motives would be inaccessible. In todays society, there are too many people who think and feel only for themselves, if you had this ability, it would mean that you'd see straight away how that is and avoid any kind of issues later down the line.
But the winner is Intuitive Aptitude, the ability to see exactly how things work and operate. Would be absolutely incredible in my eyes to be able to see the world for exactly how it functions, you'd be able to see how everything moves and flows, every action and reaction. It would be a truly amazing thing to have. Maybe I'm not so dis-similar to Sylar after all...
Sunday, 16 October 2011
Honesty and Integrity
Two key words, means a lot to some people and fuck all to others.
I try my best to live my life being as honest and upfront with my thoughts as possible. It antagonises me and angers me when I see people who aren't the same. Sure they have their reasons for it, for not doing so. It may be down to being scared as what others might see, it may be that by shrouding themselves, they feel more protected as a result. However, all that this serves to do is makes things worse. Why? Because then when those that they aren't being honest with, realise this, they feel hurt and may react badly, therefore 'proving' the fear to the one hiding.
I've been hurt so many times in so many different ways, but I would never dream of hiding my true self. It would be very easy for me to do, almost justifiable even, but it would invarably lead to pain to myself later on and certainly to others. Call me soft, but I want to make people happy not cause them pain.
Not being honest is hugely wrong, its selfish and is fundamentally pointless. It causes negative emotions to surface and upsets and angers people. Frankly the main point here is why would anyone want that?
I try my best to live my life being as honest and upfront with my thoughts as possible. It antagonises me and angers me when I see people who aren't the same. Sure they have their reasons for it, for not doing so. It may be down to being scared as what others might see, it may be that by shrouding themselves, they feel more protected as a result. However, all that this serves to do is makes things worse. Why? Because then when those that they aren't being honest with, realise this, they feel hurt and may react badly, therefore 'proving' the fear to the one hiding.
I've been hurt so many times in so many different ways, but I would never dream of hiding my true self. It would be very easy for me to do, almost justifiable even, but it would invarably lead to pain to myself later on and certainly to others. Call me soft, but I want to make people happy not cause them pain.
Not being honest is hugely wrong, its selfish and is fundamentally pointless. It causes negative emotions to surface and upsets and angers people. Frankly the main point here is why would anyone want that?
Saturday, 15 October 2011
Intro
Recently, I have come to the conclusion that I really need to start writing things down. I always have a ton of thoughts and feelings and think perhaps that its time to start to share those with the world around. So welcome to the world and life as I see it, enjoy!! :-)
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