Its funny how you always hear from the one person you don't want to...

Strange thing how accurate the title really can seem to be. Recently I have heard from one such person, one of which caused me no end of issues towards the end of last year.

This person was the one who decided that after leading me on for a little while, she didn't want to know. Thereafter she decided actually she did and then started screwing me around once again almost straight away again. Now a handful of months later, lo and behold, who do I hear from? Seems absolutely barmy to me!

I mean what does she think I'm going to do? Welcome her communication with open arms and a blissful 'oh don't worry about it, I forgive you' kind of line? Does she not think I don't have any respect for myself?

What is especially funny is her timing. She has decided to contact me right after I've met someone who I really like and hope to see more of. True its very very early days as yet and I've met this new woman only the once so far. I have a degree of cautious optimism, I'm not going to let myself run away with it and think 'oh she's the one' or anything daft and stupid like that, but currently from outset, she seems really great and I have hopes that things may develop.

But it makes me laugh as it proves what I have said to people before....that those ladies who I have any kind of relationship with or anything, generally want to come back to me. There are numerous examples of this just like this one.

One brilliant example is my ex-fiancee who only last year having been split with me for over 3 years decided that she wanted to contact me (via a dating site no less!) and invite me out for a drink citing 'whats the worst that can happen?' Of course she seemed blissfully ignorant of the fact that I can't stand her and how she treated me back in the day and have no wish to ever see her again, least of all go out for a sodding drink with her!

I'm not sure exactly why it is that these people do this, try to come back into my life I mean. I have a thought however, a potential explanation which both horrifies and amuses me at the same time. That thought is that these people are ones who once they fuck me about, once they have had their fill of  treating me like crap, suddenly realise and come to the conclusion that actually I was a really decent guy. Perhaps they are just used to men being fucktards around them, I don't know (although clearly there are plenty of those too) and therefore cannot respond in a decent enough fashion when they finally have someone in their life worth having. Its only once I'm gone that they think 'shit, I may have missed an opportunity there' and want to creep back again.

What horrifies me about this thought though is it gives me the thoughts of 'is this what I'm going to always get?' and 'am I ever going to find someone who wants me for me, will treat me with proper respect and dignity and not want to screw me around?'

I can only hope that these thoughts are not going to be accurate, that I don't end up in a perpetual cycle of this and can break free. After all, I'm worth more than that right?

NEWS!

Doesn't seem quite so long ago that I last posted, but clearly it has been. Several weeks in fact, oops! And to think that the intention was to be keeping regular posts/updates etc. Ah well, there have been reasons.
The reason itself is the now factual brilliant news that after years of trying, I have finally been promoted. Technically it is on a temporary six month basis, but the potential is certainly there for this to be extended or indeed made fully permanent.

The promotion itself? Means that rather than be taking calls and dealing with customers and thats all, means that instead I'll be assisting in running the show as it were, helping manage the team and develop and enhance the performance too. All good things and a good step career wise. Even if it doesn't for whatever reason work its way out to be extended or anything, the very fact that I will have had experience in being a Senior person will be massively beneficial in the future.

I am a hugely ambitious person and fundamentally it has been extremely frustrating at times over the years to not be kicking on as I have wanted to do. Now it seems patience and hard work is paying off.

It also means that in order to help to push further, I will now be studying hard over the next few months doing another CII qualification. Technically I have a 2 year window in which this needs to be completed (alongside of a couple of others, I've already done) but I'm not one to rest on their laurels, I intend to fully kick on and get things moving.

The way I see it, I currently have just got my foot in the door, now I need to kick the bugger open fully and will do everything possible in order to make it happen.

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